COPING WITH THE DIAGNOSIS OF CANCER

How to live coping with the diagnosis of cancer? Anybody who receives these news has a devastating impact. All his/her thoughts stop, and plans for the day or for the following months fade away. Words such as “death” or “chemotherapy”, or worries about his/her family (specially about children) come to his/her mind.

The way everyone reacts may vary a lot, and there isn’t any way better than any other; each person has his/her own.
But this reaction will depend on some factors, such as the way the doctor gave him/her the diagnosis, or how this person reacted after bad news in the past.

Most of the doctors tell the news as much politely as they can, assuring they will do whatever they can to beat the disease. This video shows, with hints of humor, how a cancer diagnosis should NOT ever be given. It’s from the movie “Witt”. Luckily scenes like this are more unfrequent every day. 

The way this information is given will improve or will damage the confidence to the doctor and, trusting the doctor, helps coping with the disease with a greater feeling of safety.

The moment somebody finds out he/she has cancer, he/she may spend some time under shock. That means he/she is so centered on these news that it’s impossible to pay attention to what happens around: he/she can’t listen to what the doctor says, he/she remains with lifeless gaze, etc. So it is important to attend this visit close to a relative or a friend, in order to listen to and take notes from what the doctor says, and make the questions needed, because the patient may be unable to do it on his/her own.

It is possible that the patient doesn’t want to go home after visiting the doctor, to avoid to talk about cancer with children or with the rest of the family: He/she may want to spend a few hours walking before going back home. This is a normal reaction and respecting it will help taking this step. It’s important that every person finds the right moment to talk with his/her family, and to do so calmy and plenty of time. Reactions of the family members may also be so varied but, in general, they contribute to accept bad news sooner or later. Family is, usually, the main support source.

Another thing that many people wonder is whether they must tell everybody, or it is better to keep it in secret. Years ago, cancer’s stigma was so strong: it had a huge social rejection. Now cancer is more accepted, which facilitates receiving social support. But telling it to neighbours, friends and job colleagues, still depends on every person. The right to keep it in secret, if he/she wants, also deserves to be respected.

So, what can we do to reduce fear and useasiness? We can search support nearby, and try to keep the normal activities as much as possible (of course there will be schedules and routines changes, as well as frequent hospital visits), and it’s important to take decisions calmly. But the first thing is giving oneself time, because accepting this news isn’t easy at all, and not everyone can do it in a few days. I also recommend to give onelself permission to feel bad, or sad, or angry, or to cry, ... These emotions can come one by one, or all together. If your body drives you there, blocking it will make you feel worse.

And finally, remember that is very important the support that comes from family and friends and, if it’s not enough, you can count on the professional help from a doctor or a psychooncologist, or even a spiritual or religious advisor if it’s according to your believes.